Love Bug of Doom
by Rabid Biscuit
Summary: Short, but good. Reads like an episode. Zim witnesses a children's show and by coincidence thinks that the costumed mascot is an enemy alien. R&R.


"Lovebug of Doom"

by ZackTHedgecat

It was midday on a plain, ordinary Earth cycle, when Irken Invader Zim came elevating out of his lift-toilet in the kitchen, arms crossed, head high. He was out of disguise, and had a magnifying lens covering his right eye.

"GIR! Report!"

The defective SIR unit saluted, and his teal spots turned red for a moment, and quickly returned to normal. "I'm watchin' Sprinkles & Friends!"

Zim sighed, wondering how he, the great ZIIIIM, got such a cruddy SIR. He walked into the family room, and was about to lecture GIR on how he had more important things to do, when his antennae twitched as a voice on TV spoke.

"Welcome back to Sprinkles & Friends, kids! Uhuhuhuh! I'm Sprinkle the Lovebug of Happiness, and I'm here to tell you that if you see a green alien named Zim, pelt him with stones and bring him to your local authorities. Uhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh!"

Zim's eyes widened and he turned around. "HE KNOOOOOOOWS!" What he saw shocked him to his squeedlyspooch. "GIR!"

GIR initiated red-mode temporarily, to say, "Yes, my lord?"

"Sprinkles the LOOOOOOVE bug is not a lovebug… He's an Amorian! A common enemy of the Irken Empire! He must know that I am an invader!" Zim exclaimed, staring at the lovebug on the screen. He was clearly a human in a red, cricket-like suit, but Zim was too stupid to realize this. GIR just stared vacantly at his master, and then began to dance.

"No, GIR, that's BAD." Zim explained, hands on his hips. "Oooooooh…" GIR exhaled, stopping his dance. He waited a moment and then began again.

"Spriiiinkles must be stopped!" Zim shouted, running to a closet, and putting on his disguise. He then ran out of the house. GIR watched this vacantly, turned back to the TV, and then began dancing once more.

Zim dashed up the walkway to Dib's front door, and banged several times. It opened, and Dib stepped out. "Zim! What do you want?"

"Silence, Dib-human! I want something!"

"Yes, and that's why I asked you… Never mind…" Dib stated, eyelids lowered.

"What do you know of Sprinkles the Looooovebug of Happiness?" Zim demanded, inching into the door.

"What, the kids' show guy? He just entertains three-year-olds."

"YOU LIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!" Zim burst, shoving his way in, knocking the large-headed human down. "The bug commanded children to pelt me with rocks, and turn me in to your Eaaaaarth police beasts. He is clearly an Amorian, a common enemy of My Tallest!"

Dib got up, brushed himself off, and stared at Zim. "This is just stupid…" Zim gave off a series of hmms and ums. "Look, Zim. He's an actor. And I like him. He raises awareness about you, and your breed." Dib said, and then coughed a few times, muttering within these coughs something to the effect of, "Thanks to a hefty donation that I gave them." But of course, Zim did not notice.

"You LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Sprinkles must be destroyed!" Zim then pulled his communicator out of his pak. "GIR! Meet me at Diiiiib's home NOW!"

"YES, MY LORD!"

A few moments passed, and then GIR, puppy suit and all, came flying towards the lawn, with jets firing out of his feet. Dib quickly snapped a picture of this and then did a dance in victory.

"GIR! Take me to PeeBee S studios!" Zim commanded, sitting on the puppy. GIR fired off towards the city, screaming "Weeeeeeheeheeheeheehee!" Dib quickly snapped another photo and then took the two to Professor Membrane.

"Dad, how do you explain a flying puppy?"

Membrane took the photos and stared at them for a moment. After a while, he stated, "Possibly a weather balloon, or swamp gas." Dib sighed, took the pictures back, and trudged upstairs.

"Here we are, GIR. PeeBee S studios!" Zim declared, staring up at the sign of a bee peeing on an S. "Curse that death bee."

"Ooooh! Oooooh! This is where they make The Scary Monkey Show!" GIR squeeled, running into a studio with a sign overhead, reading "Studio B – Scary Monkey". A picture of the monkey was displayed on the right of the sign. Zim sighed, stated "Curse that monkey", and continued down the line to an information desk.

"Well helloooooo there, little green boooooy! How can I help yooooou?" Asked the info lady. Zim grumbled and then cleared his throat. "EHEM. Yes. Where is SPRINKLES… and Friends shot?"

"Oooooooh, that be Studio AXGKLZBYOQ on Floor 897." She stated, pointing to an elevator. Zim saluted her and then got on, eyeing all the buttons. "Irken buildings go down… curse these Earthenoids… CURSE THEM!"

A few citizens looked at the lift as it closed and shot up to the top of the building.

It came to a stop at last, and Zim stepped off, staring down the line of 26 studios, all numbered Studio AXGKLZBYOA through Z. Too much TV. Zim stared into one studio to witness the Acne Blast commercial being filmed, with a kid stating that his life had turned into a hideous montage of humiliation and shame, and then he stared into another studio. This one was interesting.

Torque Smackey was sponsoring Prof. Membrane's Supertoast. He held a piece of toast and stated, "Try new Supertoast." He then took a bite and malformed into some bizarre beast, and continued with, "It's awesome." Amongst the crew in the studio stood Gaz, Prof. Membrane, and… Diiiib. Zim began dashing off the moment Dib noticed him.

"I'll stop your evil Sprinkles plan, ZIIIIM!" Dib yelled, dashing out of the studio. Gaz sighed. "Brothers…"

Zim finally reached the Studio ending in Q, with had a sign reading "Sprinkles & Friends". He dashed in to find it empty, and screeched to a halt near the camera.

Dib entered, panting. "Huh… huh… huh… You… huh… see, Zim? Just a studio. No Amorian, or whatever the heck you called him… Give it up."

"LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIES! The Amorian is here, and I WILL find him DIB!" Zim yelled, dashing to the entrance to the dressing rooms. Dib chased after him, down the line of doors with stars on them, with names like "Huggy" and "Foofoo" pasted on them, until they came to "Sprinkles".

Zim busted down the door and confronted the guy in a suit, who fell out of his chair. "Wha… What do you w-want, crazy… green boy!"

"Give it up, Sprinkle beast! I know that you are an Amorian, and a common enemy of the miiiiighty Irken Empire! Relinquish your seat on the Sprinkly throne. RELINQUISH!"

"Whoawhoawhoa, little man! I'm just a kids' entertainer!" Dib soon entered and Sprinkles stared at him. "Hey, you're the kid who paid me all that cash to tell kids to pelt a guy named Zim with rocks, right? How ya doin'?"

Dib shrugged, and stated bluntly, "Can't complain."

Zim whirled around. "YOU! YOU PAID THIS PIG SMELLY TO TRICK ME! YOU ARE TREASONOUS!"

Dib sighed. "No, I paid him to get you pelted. I see it hasn't worked either." Not a moment after Dib stated this, a girl who played in the audience walked by the door and looked in. "Hey, it's ZIM!" She yelled, pelting him with rocks.

Dib laughed. "I guess it did." Zim, doubled over in pain, muttered, "Ohhhh, my SQUEEDLYSPOOCH!"

"Ya see Zim? Actors." Dib stated, walking out the door. "Ya moron."

Zim crawled up and called GIR with his pak. In an instant, the puppy had busted through 896 floors. Zim hopped on and shot out through the wall.

Sprinkles stared out the hole. "Wouldja lookit that? It's one o' them… flyin' puppies."

Zim stood, staring into the main screen in his base's control room, communicating with the Massive.

"My Tallest, the Dib human paid another to dress up as an Amorian and command other Earthenoids to pelt me with stones! Oh, the granite… Ehem, but, I stopped his evil scheme."

GIR chimed in and stated, "No you diiiidn't!"

Red eyed Zim quizzically. "Zim, we conquered the Amorians years ago. They love us, too. You're stupid."

Purple edged in and agreed. "Yeah, Zim, you're stupid!"

Zim stared vacantly, and then at length, said "Invader Zim, out!".

Aboard the Massive, Purple stared at Red for a moment, and then returned to cramming his face with donuts.

END


End file.
